Q: Moen ,
PAX: Pebbles, Floaties, Tinder, Ebike, Motel 6, Quick Release, Deadhead, Moen
FNGs: None
COUNT: 8
CONDITIONS: Upper 60s, a bit humid
WARMUP:
– 20 SSHs
THE THANG:
darebee.com/workouts/nobody-asked-for-this-workout.html
3 rounds of:
– 4 180° Burpees
– 10 4-ct Mountain Climbers
– 4 180° Burpees
– 5 Copperhead Merkins
– 10 single-count Shoulder Taps
– 5 Copperhead Merkins
– 4 180° Burpees
Correct. Nobody asked for burpees. Nobody has ever, in the history of physical fitness, woken up and thought “I would like to repeatedly throw myself at the floor and then jump.” And yet here we are. Nobody Asked For This is a full-body conditioning workout built around jump burpees, mountain climbers, push-ups, and shoulder taps – exercises that have been making people question their choices since long before you specifically started questioning yours.
The structure sandwiches everything between burpees, which is either cruel or logical depending on how you feel about cardiovascular honesty. Jump burpees spike the heart rate and recruit the entire posterior chain through the hip hinge and jump; mountain climbers keep the core braced and the breathing difficult while adding hip flexor drive; push-ups shift the emphasis to the chest and triceps with the added challenge of doing them after your arms have already been load-bearing for two exercises; shoulder taps turn the push-up position into an anti-rotation stability drill, demanding that the core hold the body still while the arms move independently. The closing burpees finish what the opening ones started.
www.darebee.com/workouts/spartan-standard-workout.html
As Many Rounds as Possible of:
– 10 Bonnie Blair’s (alt Reverse Lunges)
– MAX Merkins (at least 10)
– 10 Bonnie Blair’s (alt Reverse Lunges)
– MAX Merkins (at least 10)
– 10 Jump Squats
– MAX Merkins (at least 10)
– 10 Shoulder Taps
– MAX Merkins (at least 10)
– 10 Shoulder Taps
All reps are each for each side, ie., 2 is 1
Spartan Standard is a compact bodyweight benchmark that trains the fundamentals without wasting a single rep. The structure keeps returning to pressing work, which turns the push-up into the central pillar of the session, while the lower-body patterns and plank-based control drills keep feeding into it from different angles. That means the chest, shoulders and triceps do the obvious heavy lifting, but the real story is in how the rest of the body supports the effort: glutes and quads drive you out of the lunge and squat patterns, the calves and feet handle landing and rebound, and the deep core has to lock the ribcage and pelvis together so force can travel cleanly through the frame. This is the kind of workout that quietly asks a big question: can you stay strong, aligned, and efficient when every pattern depends on the one before it?
What gives Spartan Standard its edge is that it does not chase complexity, it chases integrity. The repeated pressing volume builds upper-body endurance and shoulder girdle strength, while the single-leg work exposes balance leaks and side-to-side asymmetries. Then the shoulder stability element arrives and suddenly the trunk has to resist rotation, the scapulae have to behave, and your entire midline has to act less like decoration and more like armor. In practice, this improves pushing strength, anti-rotation control, posture under fatigue, landing mechanics, and the kind of whole-body coordination that makes basic movements feel sharp and dependable. It is a standard in the old-school sense: simple, hard to fake, and very honest. If your movement is crisp, the workout feels powerful. If not, it shows you exactly where the cracks are.
Cool down lap!
MARY: PAX callout
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
– Spartan races August and November
– Manion Ruck September
– Summer Lunches LVFirst UMC Sunday afternoons
COT: A burden shared is a burden halved. A joy shared is a joy doubled!